strange time in my life

You know, there were days when I felt like crying all of the time. And days when I cried all the time. And there were days where the wind was so bitter and it cut through everything, and made my ears numb as I made my way through it. And I thought of you on all of these days. And you made the crying easier, and the wind colder, and me sadder. And I thought I'd never get out of it.
And there were days where the sun shone and I felt not-so-bad. And I didn't think of you, and when I thought about not thinking about you I thought of you. But it wasn't so bad.  I tried to do what you told me to do. To think about the times we had, the good times. And it was easy when the sun shone.
And this bittersweet feeling swept me up and carried me. It wasn't so bad, and it wasn't so good. I wallowed in my sadnesses, which felt sweet, and feeling sweet about my sadnesses made me feel bitter. And I thought of Sappho – sweetbitter – and how that was a much better way of saying it.