thursday

i take back everything i said. i take back everything i thought. all of the plans that i had made! all of the conversations and movements i had rehearsed! it's all meaningless now, because, well. i couldn't even begin to describe how or why.

last night i dreamt that cami was telling these two girls that sarya was 39 and called sam. i was infuriated that she would do such things. her name was sarya, and she is 29, obviously! (in dream land. in real life she is 25) - what the hell does that mean?

back to the beginning, i think now it's time to...collapse, breathe, faint, pass out, make up all kinds of new scenarios, daydream, ponder, regroup. like georgia nicholson said "i forgot what he looks like" "i remember what he looks like."