The Blues

I told a friend that I had the blues today. She asked me what I had the blues about. I said I had the blues, it was just the blues. And she couldn't understand why I was blue and I couldn't understand why I was blue either. We both wanted a reason. To her, my blues weren't real blues without an outlet for them, a cause for this effect. For me, I was experiencing the effect without the cause, which was even weirder. We both wanted clues, but for different reasons.

With the blues you can exist, get up, get dressed, maybe even make a cup of coffee, go to work?, but you do all of these things on auto pilot. You move through these things like a robot, just one case to the next. One hour to the next. The problem with it is that there is nothing to be excited about, nothing to motivate you, nothing to take the edge off. Maybe this is the essence of existence. Maybe we're blessed because we can see the purity of existing like animals do, with no distractions, no hopes, dreams or imagination to get in the way. Or maybe not. Maybe dogs and dragonflies and little goldfish are even better off than we are, as their consciousness isn't as strong as ours. Yes they are just going to the next thing, but they don't realise.

Sometimes the blues make you cry. And cry. And cry. And cry. Sometimes you cry for no reason. Sometimes you cry because you see something sad. Sometimes you cry because you see something happy. All of it can make you cry. And sometimes you just cry because you're crying and you don't know why. Which goes back to my original point. There is no cause for the effect. It's just crying. And crying is meant to make you feel better. (There is some scientific proof.) But sometimes the crying makes you feel worse, as it's back to being an enigma. What am I crying for?

But most of all you learn to move through these things like a robot. It may not seem that there is a light at the end of the tunnel but who knows, maybe there will be? And if not, you have learnt how to take each step separately. The little tasks, one by one.