strangers

when you spend most of your time knowing 20% of the people you with the the other 80% are strangers it gets to the point where your thoughts even leave you. i mean, i am a quiet person, so when i am with strangers obviously i am quiet, almost mute. and this translates in my brain. at first my brain is racing but after a while it just becomes as mute as i am. there is nothing to say at all, my thoughts are gone.

but then when you finally get to go to bed that's when the synapses start firing and things start to take on this hyper-thought. normally before bed you think about things, but when my days are muted outside AND inside, the nights become this hive of activity. last night i couldn't sleep for hours. at least two hours i was in huge thought. and then when i finally slept i kept waking up, maybe i was trying hard to get back into the real world, the conscious, trying to communicate with anything, anything.