strange time in my life

I love it when you don’t know a word,
so you dance around it,
and use more words than you should to describe something,
and I’m sitting there next to you,
and our arms are touching, 
and you’re reaching for a word,
saying three when there’s one,
and I want to say what you’re searching for but I don’t,
I just lean further into you,
and maybe someone else says it,
or maybe you find it,
and you say the punchline and we laugh,
and press our bodies closer together,
but they’re not allowed to be close,
so we spring apart and I think,
god I wish there was a word for this,
for us,
for this,
for closeness when it’s not allowed

but I don’t think there is.