winter sun got me thinking
first -
about how beautiful it looks on buildings
and how it shines through the trees
now empty of their leaves,
which made me think about the past
and how the winter sun looked
before it made big shadows of window frames
or chair legs
in buildings,
how it looked before we made buildings
or had chairs.
secondly I thought
about killing yourself
and how I wasn't afraid to do it at all
so if anyone said they couldn't 'go on'
I'd understand suicide as a viable option.
I thought if I was so convinced
of it's merits
then why had I never followed through?
And then I thought about the winter sun
and how even though sometimes it feels
like you can't go on
or the futility of existence is such
that you can't imagine the point
I think of the winter sun,
the summer sun,
spring light,
autumn leaves
and remember
why we go on.
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